The sex toy industry is bucking the recession, both glorious dips of it, with increased sales across the UK to a priapic £250 million a year.

One company decided to put these sales to the service of social science and has revealed which parts of the country spent the most and the least on what used to be known as “marital aids”.

Taking a sample of half a million orders over the course of a year Lovehoney worked out how much each adult in every town and city in the UK spent on products like sex toys, bondage and lingerie.

Their survey is just a bit of fun really as it only covers online sales from their company – but the sample size is significant and we’ll run with it none the less. Why not?


And the results for London are…

Breaking London down into 61 areas Big Smoke thought we’d take a look at who was buying in the city and who was getting it on unassisted.

Well, the shocking news is that East London’s Ilford, according to wikipedia the only place in the UK to have found a whole mammoth skull, have been so preoccupied by this important scientific find that they barely keep their minds on more earthy matters. At a mere twenty pence each they either aren’t buying many toys, or just buying very small ones.

While it comes as no surprise that Westminster, full of filthy sex maniacs as it undeniably is, tops the London league, closely followed by Chelsea residents who may well have more spare cash than the good people of Ilford. Indeed there does seem to be a bit of a trend that richer parts of London spend more money on this stuff than poorer parts (gasp!) but how does that explain Harrow or Hayes and Harlington coming so low in the sex Olympics?

Battersea is, of course, a lovely area but it’s unlikely to be the fourth richest area in London. I reckon it’s seeing that huge power station thrusting up into the skyline that gives the residents all sorts of frisky ideas. Also why the difference between Greenwich and Lewisham? These are two similar boroughs but Greenwich comes in at 7th place, fourteen full places above their Lewisham neighbours. The bracing Thames air is clearly a tonic.

Mind you buying more sex toys does not actually mean more sex, or being sexier, but if you can’t make lurid conclusions about your neighbours based on fairly flimsy research when can you?


London Rank National Rank Area Spend per adult
1 7 City of London and Westminster 54p
2 17 Chelsea 46p
3 25 Uxbridge 44p
4 27 Battersea 44p
5 30 Islington 43p
6 35 Bermondsey 42p
7 38 Greenwich and Woolwich 42p
8 49 Uxbridge and South Ruislip 41p
9 51 Bethnal Green 41p
10 54 Vauxhall 40p
11 69 Poplar and Limehouse 39p
12 72 Twickenham 39p
13 89 Putney 38p
14 98 Kensington 38p
15 116 Hammersmith 37p
16 138 Hornsey and Wood Green 36p
17 140 Richmond Park 36p
18 147 Holborn and St Pancras 35p
19 166 Streatham 35p
20 167 Finchley and Golders Green 35p
21 176 Lewisham 34p
22 179 Hackney 34p
23 180 Hampstead and Kilburn 34p
24 192 Carshalton and Wallington 34p
25 194 Dulwich and West Norwood 34p
26 200 Beckenham 33p
27 208 Brentford and Isleworth 33p
28 209 Westminster North 33p
29 232 Chipping Barnet 32p
30 233 Bromley and Chislehurst 32p
31 239 Tooting 32p
32 242 Sutton and Cheam 32p
33 245 Kingston and Surbiton 32p
34 262 Orpington 31p
35 279 West Ham 30p
36 286 Walthamstow 30p
37 288 Ealing 30p
38 295 Enfield 30p
39 302 Chingford and Woodford Green 30p
40 307 Leyton and Wanstead 29p
41 308 Erith and Thamesmead 29p
42 317 Ruislip, Northwood and Pinner 29p
43 325 Camberwell and Peckham 29p
44 327 Tottenham 29p
45 328 Eltham 29p
46 338 Old Bexley and Sidcup 28p
47 347 Croydon 28p
48 349 Wimbledon 28p
49 368 Hornchurch and Upminster 27p
50 369 Mitcham and Morden 27p
51 395 Bexleyheath and Crayford 26p
52 411 Hendon 26p
53 425 East Ham 25p
54 440 Feltham and Heston 24p
55 457 Brent 23p
56 470 Hayes and Harlington 22p
57 481 Barking 22p
58 488 Dagenham and Rainham 21p
59 490 Edmonton 21p
60 493 Harrow 21p
61 501 Ilford 20p




  1. Kate says:

    I think sex toys will soon replace smart phones as the girls gadget of choice.. :-)

    A number of online boutiques selling designer, toys such as , are winning us over!

  2. Toni says:

    My guy loves his new toy :) Tenga Stepper Egg

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